Seriously?

Dear eHarmony,

I’m so on to you.  I’ve given up any hope of actually meeting some of these guys you send me, but really it’s no big deal.  Because you’re still sending me boys I’m supposed to be compatible with and some of them crack me up.  Like Micah, who lists “women” as one of his passions in the first paragraph of his profile.  No, really?  I expect that to be on the list next to football, career, and travel, but I didn’t expect him to say it out loud. For now, I’m going to put him in the “womanizer” column.  Since he seems to like us so much.

Then there was Frank, the guy who sounded normal at first and pretty funny until I got down the “five things you can’t live without” portion of the show.  He used all five lines to say:

  • Can I…
  • change this…
  • to ONE thing….
  • that I can’t live WITH??
  • … underpants.
  • I wish someone would tell him that going commando is something none of us exactly advertise.  I usually like to wait a while before finding out this sort of thing about someone.  Oh, and it didn’t help that Frank specified “Most of my female friends have told me they thought I was an a-hole when they first met me but I promise you that I’m not.”

    Yeah, okay.

    My personal favorite so far, however is from Joseph.  Joseph is a sensitive soul, and hit me with this whopper of a first impression: “I find a lot of my passion is in trying to understand the dynamics of things that aren’t concrete and for the most part unmeasurable like feelings and thoughts that are too big for my head then trying to turn those vague ideas into real action.”

    Peace, dude.

    Oh, eHarmony.  If nothing else, you do make me laugh.

    Love,
    Me

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