Amazing Dating Rule #6

Don’t dwell on it.

Sometimes it doesn’t work out.  Sometimes people fall apart as easily as they fell together. Sometimes, he will not be able to get over the fact that you slapped him in front of all your friends (see rule #4).

But don’t get down on yourself for too long.  Even if you see him in your fever dreams during that long hellacious weekend when the flu pins you down, don’t go Sudafed-emailing him (the flu alternative to drunk emailing) some long rambly thing about how maybe you should talk about it.  Flu dreams are not the time to apologize profusely for any violent incidents and grovel for some makeout once you’re better, no matter how good of a kisser he was. He knows you are sick and delusional. He will not bite.  Nor will he bring you soup. He is just not that into you.*

And I know I should be taking my own medicine here. (But I found this Katy Perry video that does not help at all. Because oh look, there is little Renegade Catholic spilling her merlot all over the place. There is another version of this video that involves the military and whoa we are just not going to watch that one anymore.)

But sometimes it is near impossible.

So just take it easy. And try not to spill your merlot everywhere.

 

*I’ll be featuring a detailed and tear-filled review of He’s Not That Into You once I scrape together the $10 to go see it or find some sucker of a man who will take me.

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